First, it can be emotionally and mentally tasking to handle the numerous challenges that come with your daughter’s pregnancy ranging from your daughter’s social and emotional well-being to financial and medical worries. But, it complicates and stresses out the situation more when your daughter won’t say how she got pregnant. It is heartbreaking for you also. We are quite aware of that. So let’s explore some of the reasons why your daughter might be reluctant to disclose this information and offer suggestions on how to handle this difficult situation in this post.
You might want to think of the possible reasons she’s holding that back.
We’ve made our findings, you might want to consider some of these reasons:
1. She’s scared.
That might sound bizarre since she already revealed that she’s pregnant, but do not jump to conclusions. She might be scared of what you will do about the news or receive it. This may be because you know him as someone close to her, or a friend, or even an adult who might have shut her down and warned her not to speak. More reason to come up with the best way for her to speak.
2. She’s humiliated.
When a teen girl learns she is pregnant, feeling humiliated or ashamed is a common sensation that she will go through. She may believe that she has disappointed her parents or fallen short of the standards you’ve set and that society has set for her. Also, your daughter might feel guilty and ashamed if the pregnancy was brought on by a mistake or bad choice, such as unprotected sex or drugs or the intake of alcohol. This doesn’t mean you should barge in on her and request answers. As earlier said, she might be scared. So, let her take some time as well as you, relax.
3. She doesn’t trust you.
Lack of trust may be a major reason why your daughter is reluctant to reveal who the father of her child is. You can be viewed as an authority figure or someone who is tasked with enforcing laws and regulations if you’re a parent. She could think that her parents are more interested in enforcing rules and discipline than in providing them with support and understanding. In particular, if she feels that she will be evaluated, chastised, or punished, this can create mistrust between you and her. You might as well have reacted negatively or harshly to her when she once confided in you about personal matters. Recalling that might make her withdraw from you and choose to hold on to that information.
4. She doesn’t know the father.
This point is very realistic. Having multiple partners by Genz is quite common at this age and time. If your daughter has had multiple sexual partners around the same time, it can be difficult for her to determine who the father is, unless she decides to make use of paternity tests. This uncertainty can be overwhelming and stressful for your daughter, causing her to feel ashamed or embarrassed about her situation. While it might seem like a good idea to question her about if she knows the father or not, make sure you don’t.
With all these questions in view, you should understand her predicament, understand her and choose to wait patiently. But you might end up waiting without her revealing it if her reasons persist. So, how can you find out then? What are the actions that can solve this? There should be some steps that can procure solutions as soon as possible.
Solutions You Can Take to Make Your Daughter Inform You of the Father of Her Baby
Your actions should be the opposite of her fears and how she feels which were listed above. Let’s broaden that.
Make her trust you.
It looks late right? No! It doesn’t. Every foundation can be corrected by rebuilding. Rebuild the fallen walls and in this case, your relationship. You can do this by reassuring her, including in little things. If there’s a need for you to apologize in any way, you should do that. Make sure to chip in on how much you are there for her. No matter how small this step is, it can add up and become a great building.
Don’t make her feel too bad.
As parents, you might be moved to make corrections which at times can be harsh. At that point, restrain yourself and speak nicely. You never know what will happen that will make her open up to you. So instead of shouting and yelling at every little thing she does, correct her lovingly. You can add how imperfect everyone is. We all make mistakes right? Yes, we do!
If she informs you of anything else, do not be too forward to ask about the father of her baby.
Rather, listen to what she has to say and believe her. Let her see that you do. This will encourage her to speak to you on any matter and build a stronger bond between you both.
Offer guidance on how she can care for her baby.
Everyone wants to know that their parents will be there for them. So, instead of dwelling every time on who the father is, show care for her child and the process it’ll take for her to deliver a healthy baby. This will remind her that you truly care for her and can carry the weight of the situation.
You can teach her how to practice a safe sex life.
Every parent has a certain age they wish to release their child to another man. Most times, no parent does and it can be saddening that she decided to find rest in another person apart from you. But telling her how to practice a safe sex life (which is what she wants) can prevent further catastrophe, and can be a medium for you to tell her how you feel about sex at an early stage in life.
You’ve been strong oh dear parents. We know how sad you are about this, but be rest assured to take these steps to get your acquired results. If she doesn’t speak after taking the steps, you can seek professional help.
Can We Add?
While we could generalize cases, we strongly believe it depends on her age. If your girl is grown up and married, let her inform you herself, she might be preparing a big surprise. Do not spoil that and always give her the space she and her husband requires.
We hope these steps help generally. Take care!